Should you seek love on-the-job?
I say, “Sure, as long as it’s not through rose-colored glasses.” Given how much time and energy Americans devote to their careers, it’s no surprise that office romance is on the rise, but for every one that ends in a long-term relationship, there are at least ten that end in disaster.
In my opinion, the secret to engaging in a successful office relationship involves the same principles as hiring the right talent for a job. It is as follows:
Identify what you want in a candidate and make sure he/she meets or exceeds your criteria. Compromising on quality just because the person is interested and easily available to connect with at work is a terrible reason to start a relationship. Do your homework and make certain your co-worker/love interest is a good match on all levels. There’s just too much at risk for you to hook up with someone you see daily when you already know, based on your most basic needs, the odds of success are not in your favor.
Take your time and evaluate the candidate thoroughly. First impressions are important, but studies indicate that people often don’t let their true selves show until 90 days or more into a relationship. I suggest keeping things friendly (i.e. spend time together outside the office) but don’t invest too much of yourself in the relationship until you are certain you have witnessed and are satisfied with their real identity.
Separate ‘personal’ and ‘professional.’ Companies aren’t too excited when an employee’s personal life distracts them while they are on the clock. Translation: Keep PDA outside office hours. Your relationship shouldn’t affect your work, but more importantly, you shouldn’t give any reason for others to mis-perceive that it’s affecting your work. The famous quote by Sandra Dee applies: “People hear what the see. If you want to keep the respect you’ve earned on-the-job in check and your opportunity for professional growth on track, keep your relationship out of the line of sight. What you do after hours is your business, just don’t bring it to the office and make it someone else’s.
Respect corporate policy. Some companies have no policy about dating; some don’t allow any office dating, while others just don’t allow managers to date their direct employees. But, no matter the rules, you must respect them. Companies put policies in place to avoid lawsuits and other work-related issues that can affect productivity and moral. Dating policies are no different. You need to respect the rules of good professional etiquette in the event the relationship ends. Many employees have a hard time checking their emotions at the door and can end up being fired for improper behavior (i.e. anger, tears, excessive time off from work, etc.) that creates an uncomfortable or unproductive work environment. Don’t let a failed office relationship be the beginning to the end of your job. These stories have legs and could follow you to your next position, unless you keep it professional. A good indicator of your ability to handle an office romance is to look at your past break-ups - If you didn’t cope in a professional manner in the past, you may want to avoid engaging in office romances to ensure your performance on-the-job won’t be affected.
